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That's actually a big part of why I got into making porn and erotic documentaries.
Honestly, we probably could have benefited from some more communication. So how do you make sex great when you or your partner is trans? The best advice I can give is that while sex when you're trans can be really complicated, you don't have to being trans.
Above all, remember sex is supposed to be about fulfilling the desires of the people in the room, and you should ignore the messages from others who might judge.
Tobi Hill-Meyer is a multiracial trans woman activist, writer, and filmmaker.
Sexuality has been used as the basis for a lot of discrimination against trans people, who are treated as sexual objects, and the medical system has a long history of putting trans people through twisted expectations around sexuality.
For example, the first time I went to a therapist, out of the blue he asked me if I ever masturbated while wearing my mother's clothing.